I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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