my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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