I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
