and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
