College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
