I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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