I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
