the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just tell him i said nine months
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
