do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
