Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
