puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
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