I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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