Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I think I just sharted jello shots
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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