what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
