My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
A+ Viking dick
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
