Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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