It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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