how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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