can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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