I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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