The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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