i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize