Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
