i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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