So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
where are you?
Hypothermia
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
