she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
