Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
