Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
