I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
