You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
