i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
