This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
