Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
