can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
