Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
