Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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