do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
