I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
