You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
