So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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