and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
