He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Randomize
