The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
the liver wants what the liver wants
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize