I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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