turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
