do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
As shirtless as possible
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
