The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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