let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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