Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
