do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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