I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
