I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
