I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
