i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
