I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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