I will die if light touches me.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I will be naked everywhere
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
