I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Someone shattered a urinal.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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