i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
