I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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