that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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